A Delluge of Discontent
Warning: do not purchase a Dell Digital Jukebox mp3 player. They are more fragile than your Mom's favorite china. I feel that I'm qualified to issue this judgment; most people would agree that I take good care of my possessions, especially valuable ones. It is in this context of responsibility and upstanding habits that I present the story of why I have had it with Dell.
My parents completely surprised me last Christmas with a beautiful 20 Gigabyte mp3 player. I was shocked and awed. This pocket-sized wonder had as much hard disk space as my laptop. I jubilantly filled it with 10 Gigs worth of pirated and legal mp3s, mp3s created from my legally-purchased CDs, and any other form of digital music I could get my hands on. I spent hours ripping my CD collection, downloading punk rock classics and obscurities, and life was peachy. I spent many a lonely night in the hospital rocking out to my tunes, and I even shared an earphone with a special someone on a special day. But then one day, during "Go to the Mirror (live at the Isle of Wight)" by The Who, as I was walking toward Will Rice College from the library, my beloved mp3 player froze. The music just stopped and the screen remained frozen in time. The innards of the device hummed and creaked and squealed. By the time I got the poor little thing rebooted, it was dead. I was met by a "Rescue Mode" screen on start-up, and every choice I selected led me to the horrifying message "Harddisk Problem." I called Dell Technical Support and dutifully waited for dozens of minutes for the pleasure of straining my ears and imagination to understand "Tommy" from Mumbai and to attempt to communicate my problem. "No problem," Thomababatitatriya replied. "We'll send you a brand new device in exchange for the broken one."
I re-ripped my CD collection and re-did my playlists. It took days. I was angry. But then I soon forgot my troubles and basked in the joy of punk rock once again. Soon enough, fate was once again knocking on my door. On my way to the lab late one night, the unthinkable happened. My mp3 player froze mid-song again! I rushed to the lab and frantically searched for a paperclip, knowing that every second without a reset was a second closer to "Harddisk problem." Our lab is environmentally friendly and staples everything, and so I couldn't find a paperclip anywhere. I rushed into the DNA lab and my eyes fell upon an aspiration tube. I jammed the needle into the reset hole and voila... it didn't fit. So I pushed harder. It didn't fit. The reset button deep inside the device broke off. I could hear it rattling around. I franticly shook the device. It spontaneously reset. I was saved, but only temporarily. For I knew quite well that it would inevitably freeze again, and without a reset button I would be faced with a "Harddisk problem" in no time. So I dutifully called "Ann" at the Dell call center and spent countless minutes explaining and reexplaining and rereexplaining my dilemma. I helped her to spell "Houston." She vowed to send me a new unit. That's unit #3.
Unit #3 arrived on September 17. Re-read previous paragraph. Jump to the present day. October 19. 1:43 PM. I'm hurrying down Fannin Street so I won't be late for my pulmonologist appointment. My unit #3 is safely nestled in it's leather-padded carrying case deep within my pocket. Floggy Molly are tearing through the opening chords of some Irish drinking music. Then, the unthinkable happened. Yes, deja vous! The device froze! I ran into the pharmacy I was passing and implored the cashier to cough up a paperclip. I rapidly reset my unit #3 and breathed a sigh of relief. And then the "Rescue Mode" screen appeared. And then the "Harddisk problem" screen. And then the shit hit the fan. Three calls, 2 hours, and four bungled "express service tag codes" later, "Jimmy" promised to have someone from Tech Support call my cell phone in the morning. But you know what? I refuse to accept a fourth mp3 player for the price of one. I want my music to be permanent. My warranty is expiring in a few months and I'm about to lose a ton of money. Tomorrow I'm calling "Customer Care" and they are going to give me a complete refund so I can buy an iPod. BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Thus ends a sad chapter in my fleeting relationship with Dell. I don't know how we got together in the first place... I guess it was pure physical attraction. Emotionally, Dell and I just aren't on the same level. I can't settle for mediocrity, and I'm moving on. Dell Computers, welcome to my ex-list.
Music of the Moment: none, see above story
My parents completely surprised me last Christmas with a beautiful 20 Gigabyte mp3 player. I was shocked and awed. This pocket-sized wonder had as much hard disk space as my laptop. I jubilantly filled it with 10 Gigs worth of pirated and legal mp3s, mp3s created from my legally-purchased CDs, and any other form of digital music I could get my hands on. I spent hours ripping my CD collection, downloading punk rock classics and obscurities, and life was peachy. I spent many a lonely night in the hospital rocking out to my tunes, and I even shared an earphone with a special someone on a special day. But then one day, during "Go to the Mirror (live at the Isle of Wight)" by The Who, as I was walking toward Will Rice College from the library, my beloved mp3 player froze. The music just stopped and the screen remained frozen in time. The innards of the device hummed and creaked and squealed. By the time I got the poor little thing rebooted, it was dead. I was met by a "Rescue Mode" screen on start-up, and every choice I selected led me to the horrifying message "Harddisk Problem." I called Dell Technical Support and dutifully waited for dozens of minutes for the pleasure of straining my ears and imagination to understand "Tommy" from Mumbai and to attempt to communicate my problem. "No problem," Thomababatitatriya replied. "We'll send you a brand new device in exchange for the broken one."
I re-ripped my CD collection and re-did my playlists. It took days. I was angry. But then I soon forgot my troubles and basked in the joy of punk rock once again. Soon enough, fate was once again knocking on my door. On my way to the lab late one night, the unthinkable happened. My mp3 player froze mid-song again! I rushed to the lab and frantically searched for a paperclip, knowing that every second without a reset was a second closer to "Harddisk problem." Our lab is environmentally friendly and staples everything, and so I couldn't find a paperclip anywhere. I rushed into the DNA lab and my eyes fell upon an aspiration tube. I jammed the needle into the reset hole and voila... it didn't fit. So I pushed harder. It didn't fit. The reset button deep inside the device broke off. I could hear it rattling around. I franticly shook the device. It spontaneously reset. I was saved, but only temporarily. For I knew quite well that it would inevitably freeze again, and without a reset button I would be faced with a "Harddisk problem" in no time. So I dutifully called "Ann" at the Dell call center and spent countless minutes explaining and reexplaining and rereexplaining my dilemma. I helped her to spell "Houston." She vowed to send me a new unit. That's unit #3.
Unit #3 arrived on September 17. Re-read previous paragraph. Jump to the present day. October 19. 1:43 PM. I'm hurrying down Fannin Street so I won't be late for my pulmonologist appointment. My unit #3 is safely nestled in it's leather-padded carrying case deep within my pocket. Floggy Molly are tearing through the opening chords of some Irish drinking music. Then, the unthinkable happened. Yes, deja vous! The device froze! I ran into the pharmacy I was passing and implored the cashier to cough up a paperclip. I rapidly reset my unit #3 and breathed a sigh of relief. And then the "Rescue Mode" screen appeared. And then the "Harddisk problem" screen. And then the shit hit the fan. Three calls, 2 hours, and four bungled "express service tag codes" later, "Jimmy" promised to have someone from Tech Support call my cell phone in the morning. But you know what? I refuse to accept a fourth mp3 player for the price of one. I want my music to be permanent. My warranty is expiring in a few months and I'm about to lose a ton of money. Tomorrow I'm calling "Customer Care" and they are going to give me a complete refund so I can buy an iPod. BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Thus ends a sad chapter in my fleeting relationship with Dell. I don't know how we got together in the first place... I guess it was pure physical attraction. Emotionally, Dell and I just aren't on the same level. I can't settle for mediocrity, and I'm moving on. Dell Computers, welcome to my ex-list.
Music of the Moment: none, see above story
posted by Yours Truly at 9:46 PM
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