Wow

They do say that 60 is the new 40, but this is just ridiculous! I'm still reliving the wonderful moments from The Who in Houston. Can't wait for the next show.
Photo taken from www.petetownshend.co.uk and is fully copyrighted.

What A Day, What A Night

After voting in the sketchiest of polling places ever -- a smokey, warm, humid suite on the 3rd floor of the Holiday Inn (not a first-floor conference room, an actual hotel room complete with kitchen and toilet) -- I settled in for an evening of intense election coverage. For the first time in my voting life, I have sided with the winners. And by winners, I mean BLOW-OUT WINNERS! As midnight turned into 1:00 AM, I found myself giddy and grinning. I couldn't stop thinking about a-hole Republican agendas, evangelical nutcases, inept lawmakers, backwards Southerners, stifling conservatism, flawed and paper trail-less voting machines, false pretenses, pro-lifers, and uneducated xenophobes with cultural arrogance but very little culture. These phantoms have plagued my entire politically-aware life since the 1994 midterm elections (remember Newt Gingrich's "Contract with America?"), and the visceral glee that welled up inside of me while watching them fall was amazingly blissful and satisfying. Add to that the overdue dismissal of Donald Rumsfeld and President Bush's rare acknowledgement of responsibility for his party's failures (he even called the election "a thumping") and all of a sudden I'm starting to view our great nation with a little more pride and a little less disbelief. Finally -- 6 long years too late -- the American electorate gave Bush and his Republicans exactly what they deserved: a resounding "Fuck You!"

Hilarious Article About Philly Fans

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- T.O. could have used his warmup headphones for the game.
Dallas wide receiver Terrell Owens made his first appearance at Lincoln Financial Field in nearly a year on Sunday, only this time as a target for vicious scorn and never-ending boos.

Owens tossed the ball around near midfield and showed no emotion when the Eagles offense -- specifically quarterback Donovan McNabb -- was introduced to raucous cheers. The Eagles won the coin toss and took the ball, keeping the controversial receiver on the sideline for a few more minutes.

The Eagles lost a fumble on the second play and the crowd erupted in boos -- like normal -- when the Cowboys have the ball. Owens did not have a ball thrown his way on the first drive.

In warmups, with little fanfare -- or fans in the stadium -- Owens took a light pregame jog around the field and caught a few deep passes.

Outside in the parking lot, the vocal exercises had only started. The Philly faithful promised boos like no athlete had ever heard before and warned more than insults might be hurled toward the formerly beloved Eagles star.

Eagles fans have 81 new reasons to hate the Cowboys.

"I have a feeling it's going to be as rough as it's ever been," said tailgating fan Terry Bieler. "After all, it's Philly."

About 90 minutes before kickoff, and with hordes of cameramen packed near the visitor's tunnel, Owens ran out in his Cowboys blue tights and headphones for some early stretching. Eagles receiver Greg Lewis warmly greeted his former teammate and the early arrivals roared when a pass flicked off Owens' fingertips.

McNabb, a favorite target of T.O.' verbal barbs, tossed some passes nearby, but the two did not acknowledge each other. Owens jogged back to the locker room after about 20 minutes.
But hours before kickoff, T.O. had already been flattened: His old No. 81 Eagles jersey left in the parking lot was slowly being ground into the asphalt by honking cars and the surly stomps of boorish Eagles fans. ("boorish Eagles fans" LOL)

It would have been easier to find fit fans grilling veggie burgers and drinking non-alcoholic beer than an Owens supporter in the packed parking lots. Even Robyn Lonrantz of Toms River, N.J., a die-hard Cowboys fan for nearly 40 years, said she hated having Owens on the team.

Finally, one brave fan was spotted wearing a clean Eagles' Owens jersey. No tape. No scribbled profanity. Did he feel any worry about wearing that in this ferocious lot?

"It's getting burned!" the fan said, pulling it up to reveal a Brian Westbrook jersey underneath.
Some fans did light fire to their Owens jerseys. Another hot item? The shirts that read both "Got Pills?" and "T.O. O.D. O.D. O.D. O.D."

The "O.D.!" chants are both a reference to his accidental overdose and play off the "T.O!" chant he heard from the Philly faithful after every clutch play, all sung to the tune of the popular soccer song, "Ole! Ole! Ole!"

Matt Flinchbaugh of Camp Hill, Pa., arrived in an RV he had detailed on the side with derogatory comments about the Cowboys and Owens. Nearby, he set up a tray with empty prescription drug bottles and various "pills" scattered around.

"The boos are going to be larger and louder than anybody else ever felt," Flinchbaugh said, his T.O. jersey serving as an unofficial doormat. "It's the Super Bowl for us."

Flinchbaugh was part of a tailgating group of 10 that found a spot in the lot at 6:15 a.m. Doing his part to pack his trash cans full of Miller Lite empties, Flinchbaugh said Eagles fans can't forgive the way Owens fractured the team last season.

"He didn't leave on bitter terms. He left on hatred terms," he said.

Mike Maxie of Mickleton, N.J., took a brief pause from his two-game beer pong winning streak to caution that Owens might never want to remove his helmet -- even on the sideline.

"He's going to be hurt by pill bottles by the end of the fourth," said Maxie, wearing an Owens jersey that now read "Totally Overdosed" above the name.

Throwing an object as minor as pill bottles might not be a smart idea. The Eagles beefed up security and fans were faced with ejection and possible revocation of season tickets if caught throwing anything on the field, Eagles spokeswoman Bonnie Grant said.

Other than some defaced jerseys, there were no real colorful costumes, although near the local sports talk radio booth there were a few woman dressed as nurses -- the way nurses are dressed at a strip club and not at your local hospital.

One sign read "One down, one to go" with a photo of Owens and another of former Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin being carted off the field with his head immobilized after suffering a neck injury against the Eagles in 1999. The fans cheered Irvin's temporary paralysis, earning national scorn.

Of course, Philly fans are relentless in their jeering, once throwing batteries in anger at St. Louis outfielder J.D. Drew because he didn't sign with the Phillies after they drafted him in 1997. In the most infamous case, Santa Claus was booed and pelted with snowballs during a game between the Eagles and Minnesota in 1968.

A beautiful, sunny 70 degree afternoon took away one Philly fan weapon: There was no chance of Owens being pelted by snowballs.

More T.O. Stuff

From ESPN.com:

"According to ticket brokers, Owens has added more than $100 to the value of a ticket, giving it the rough equivalent of a second-round playoff game. His reception will be chilly and, almost certainly, executed in poor taste. Fans say they will dress as pill vials, some accompanied by significant others dressed as nurses. There will be boos, of course, and variations on the T.O. song, substituting the letters O.D. Pill bottles undoubtedly will be thrown on the field; hopefully fans won't fill them with C-size batteries.
'Remember when we hit Santa Claus with snowballs?' said one rowdy diner at Pat's. 'It's going to be worse than that.'"

Nice to see that the national media has already sided against Philly fans, taking the liberty to assert that our degradation of T.O. will be "executed in poor taste." What are we supposed to do, degrade T.O. with class? Seems like an oxymoron to me. Stop bashing Philly, or you're next!

"We're not going to Vietnam here now."

The title of this entry is a quote from Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells, voicing his annoyance over the media's focus on the hostile Philadelphia fans who are sure to come out in droves for Sunday's game between T.O. (and his cowgirls) and the Iggles. This marks the first meeting between the loud mouth, pain killer abusing douche bag and the classy (and talented) Philly team. I happen to believe that our fans only dish out what is rightfully deserved -- I'm sure the Santa Claus who got snowballed in '89 had it coming! Thus, there is no reason for Yahoo to publish articles suggesting Philly fans are thugs, goons, and hooligans. An excerpt to illustrate my point:

"[Cowboy] Players have talked about eggs thrown at their bus when Eagles fans merely hated the Cowboys for being the Cowboys. Coach Bill Parcells fondly recalled some of the vulgar comments he's heard over two decades of games in Philadelphia. And Owens offered a list of things that might be hurled at him: 'Cheesesteaks, batteries, Huggies [sic, they mean "hoagies"]. Anything.'

'They may have to beef up security this week,' he added.

As much as Parcells enjoys the competition, he quickly tired of talk about how rude, crude and lewd Philly fans might be. Once he had his fill, he cut it off by saying, 'We're not going to Vietnam here now.'"

Rude, crude, and lewd? Ouch. If that's how we're really perceived, then I say give 'em hell, Philly. That loser T.O. and those terrible Cowboys certainly deserve it. If/when T.O. is carted off the field on Sunday, I expect the fans to cheer even louder than they did when Michael Irvin suffered a fractured vertebra at the old Veteran's Stadium. The City of Brotherly Love is an amazing place, but you have to show some love if you want to get any in return.

Did I Just See That?

On the ABC Worlds News this evening, the final story explored the rising popularity of protest songs. The War on Terror has continued to decline into a stagnant quagmire, and the anger that has been building across the nation has been hitting the airwaves with greater frequency (pardon the pun). Bruce Springsteen's new album contains some anti-war material, and the Neil Young album Living With War is one gigantic protest. Green Day's newer material (American Idiot) has been protest-friendly, as have the new albums from Pearl Jam and the Dixie Chicks. The news story was essentially making the point that Vietnam protest songs were backed by a mass protest movement across the country, while today's songs are not inspiring the same sort of mass hysteria.

One band that has been extremely vocal and extraordinarily critical of everything right-wing since its inception in 1988 is Anti-Flag. I've been an Anti-Flag fan for at least 7 years, perhaps longer. I've seen them on the Warped Tour, and I've acquired most of their music. I also have an Anti-Flag t-shirt, which is perhaps the boldest and most controversial shirt I've ever owned -- so much so that I barely ever wear it in Texas. The shirt depicts a person imprisoned behind the American flag, with the flag's stripes serving as the bars of a jail cell. The back of the shirt is emblazoned with the phrase "No one is free when others are oppressed." I LOVE this shirt. One time during freshman year, I wore the shirt to a doctor's appointment. In the elevator following the appointment, an elderly matron glared at my shirt and exclaimed, "Well that's a horrible shirt!" I kind of smiled and snickered, lacking the guts to tell this bitch off. My point is that this band is the real deal; the ultimate protest band. Well, they're on the Warped Tour again this year, spreading their dissent across America. Toward the end of the ABC News report, I hear anchor Dan Harris utter these words: "Punk rock band Anti-Flag has been especially critical." They then cut to a soundbite from Justin Sane, Anti-Flag's lead singer. Raise your hand if you've ever seen a mohawked punk rocker -- dressed in all black -- have a soundbite on a national news broadcast. Keep your hand raised if you've ever seen the caption line during a soundbite read "Justin Sane, Anti-Flag." The irony of an underground punk band, who turned down major record labels for years, being interviewed on a national broadcast about their politics was shockingly awesome! Furthermore, the fact that such a reputable program as ABC News referred to Justin by his moniker -- rather than by his real name (Justin Geever) -- was puzzlingly cool. Way to go, ABC!

For the record, the members of Anti-Flag are Justin Sane (Justin Geever), Chris #2 (Chris Barker), Chris Head, and Pat Thetic (Pat Robenson). If only I could see the name "Pat Thetic" in a caption... Reminds me of all those jokes about authors and their books: "Twenty Yards to the Outhouse," by Willie Maykit; "The Tiger's Revenge," by Claude Balls; "Sliding Down A Telephone Pole Naked," by Dick Burns; "Under the Bleachers," by Seymour Butts; "The Yellow River," by I.P. Freely; etc.

As a follow-up to yesterday's critique of overzealous Christians, I'd like to mention another lead story from the local Houston news. A star baseball player from the Houston area has been arrested and charged with assault for allegedly pushing his own father down the stairs during an argument this morning. The father was a major league baseball player in his youth, and the son had been drafted by the New York Mets and was scheduled to announce his newly signed contract tomorrow morning. Instead, he'll likely be in jail come tomorrow morning. What does this have to do with overzealous Christians? Allow me to divulge the reason for the father-son argument: the son was late for church. I'm glad they settled their argument the way Jesus would have.

God's Sense Of Humor

It's pretty obvious to everyone that I'm not a believer. I never caught the Jesus fever, and a pet peeve of mine has always been the overzealous invocation of the Lord's name at inappropriate times. Star athletes give it up for God after stellar performances. Politicians and victim advocacy groups consistently overuse such annoying phrases as, "We all will be judged one day by God," and "We just have to leave everything up to God because He knows best." Blah blah blah.

One particularly aggravating situation has made the news this past week, and it stems from a San Antonio backyard (here's a particuarly corny account: http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=local&id=4464987). A big tree in some lady's yard developed a "leak" a few months ago. A tiny trickle of water has been dripping from the trunk of the tree about 3 feet above the ground. The story first aired about 2 weeks ago in the Houston area. Local authorities were unable to determine the source of the water. Since the woman's water bill was not increasing, it was thought that a water pipe leak was unlikely. Some believed an artesian spring was feeding the trickling water. While these explanations may not be correct, I can at least respect them because they are rational. However, the explanation that is getting all the media attention was put forth by the little old lady who owns the tree. She has somehow concluded that this leak must represent "God's water." Shit, lady! Are you serious? Just because your water main is intact doesn't mean that all worldly explanations have been exhausted!

Little old grandma has been telling any reporter who will listen that "God's water" is leaking out of her tree. It's "special water," says her son (who has been collecting it and drinking it for the past 3 months). I even saw a news clip on Houston local news (I shit you not) that alleged the water had cured "arthritis, various skin rashes, and a spider bite." At this point, I'm getting kinda pissed off. How retarded can some people actually be? Why is this getting media attention? Why is this getting DAILY UPDATES on Houston news stations? I've seen no less than 3 stories updating the progress of "God's water," and I don't even watch the news regularly -- I keep it on until the first commercial break, which means that the God tree has been given top priority in the opening segment on at least 3 occassions.

Well, tonight was no exception. There was a God tree update as one of the lead stories on the Houston news. However, this update came with a twist -- a fucking awesome twist! Since the story broke last week, hundreds of people from around the country have made "pilgrimmages" to San Antonio to bottle up some of "God's water" to take home to drink, heal people, etc. Fortunately, while these whack jobs were going nuts over the discovery of God's spring, the San Antonio authorities were actually continuing with their search for the source of the water. After a whole week of uncertainty, the source was identified. Who thinks it was God? You're wrong, dumb asses. The tree's roots had invaded an underground water pipe (big surprise!). But here's the kicker: the health department ran tests on the water and determined that it is loaded with bacteria and is entirely unsafe for human consumption! Not only is this water not a panacea from God, but it is actually going to make people sick! I couldn't stop laughing when I heard the news. All I could think about were the hundreds of people who bottled up this shit and carted it away like it was liquid gold. The old lady's son has been drinking shit water for 3 months, the old lady's neighbor has been feeding shit water to her toddler, and the local Houston news has given repeated coverage to shit-laced water trickling out of a fucking tree. Priceless!

When interviewed on tonight's broadcast, the old lady's son stubbornly refused to stop drinking the water. His words (and I quote): "I been drinkin' 'dis for 3 months, and I'm still around. I ain't kicked the bucket. I'm gonna keep drinkin' it." Dude, it's too late to save face. You've been exposed as one of this country's biggest morons. The damage has been done. Welcome to the idiocracy! Time to move to Crawford to join the other huge Texan idiot... God bless you people and thanks for making my Friday awesome.