Erection Day 2004

I just got back from NOD. For the non-Rice readers out there, if there are any, NOD is short for Night of Decadence. Basically, a sexually suggestive theme is chosen each year for a large party and the aim is to devise a costume that fits the theme yet involves a minimum amount of clothing. For example, in 2001 the theme was "2001, a Space NODessy." In 2002, it was "Cops and Robbers: a NOD to Authority!" Last year, it was "NODdy or Nice: Santa's Cuming." This year, the very-appropriate theme was "NOD Bless America: Choose Your Position." My costume was the following: red Speedo brand lifeguard swimming trunks, shoes, socks, and my watch. My bare chest represented a ballot: one nipple was colored red, the other blue. The words "Kerry" and "Bush" were written beneath each "chad," but included arrows pointing diagonally across to the opposite nipple (think Florida butterfly ballot). Just above my navel, the words "Hanging Chad" were written in girlie script, and a large black arrow pointed downwards toward my nether region. My back sported an American flag and the large proclaimation: "Erection Day: November 2nd, 2004." Oh, I forgot the sexiest part: I wore my big black cowboy hat that I got at the rodeo last Spring. I think this year's costume was my best... a good way to close out my fourth and final NOD (unless I come back as one of those creeping alums next year).

The chicks were wearing the annual visual delights: thongs, fishnets, thongs, thongs, star stickers covering the nipples of bare breasts, and thongs. I just wasn't into it this year. No, I don't think I'm gay. My better half was absent, and all I could do was drink beer and think about the better time I had last year. I'm ready to go to Prague. Thank God I leave on Wednesday.

My favorite part of NOD was standing in a long line for the men's bathroom while there was no line at all for the women's bathroom (go figure). Waiting in line was not my favorite part. Rather, seeing a drunk guy throw open the door to the ladies' room, growl "'Scuse me, ladies," and proceed to take a piss in front of the four or five girls who were inside was hilarious!

Tomorrow is Halloween. More importantly, it's the huge Halloween Baker 13 run. Again, non-Rice students need to know that Baker 13 is a group of students who run around the entire campus naked every 13th, 26th, and 31st of each month wearing nothing but shaving cream over the genitals and bum hole. Halloween typically draws a crowd of about 150 naked coeds. I'll be in attendance tomorrow. Hell, this is the only time I will ever get to do this without getting arrested. Wish me luck, and pray that I don't stick my ass through any windows.

All grammatical and organizational errors in this entry are the fault of Old Alchy and not me. Goodnight and remember to change your clocks back one hour. It'll be dark at 6:00 PM tomorrow... talk about fucking depressing.

Music of the Moment: Bowling for Soup's "Corndog"