What happened to Santa?

I know this is my second post of the day (see below for post numero uno), but I'm cool like that and I'm sure y'all won't mind hearing from me again. I had my teeth cleaned today, and the dental hygienist once lived in Berwyn, PA (my home town). No shit, it's a small world! Unfortunately, she lost points on the coolness scale when she blabbed on and on about how awesome the King of Prussia Mall is and how she went there all the time to mall-walk after giving birth to her daughter. "To help me shed the 'mom pounds'" was her quote of the day. She kept talking at a mile per minute while picking tarter from my teeth, sometimes too fast for me to understand her. It must be a real power trip to force your conversation upon people, full well knowing that they are completely unable to respond. It's a telemarketer's dream! They should take her down to Guantanamo to torture the captives there. All you have to do is strap them in a chair, shine a bright light in their face, force their mouths to stay open, and then have her start talking... and talking... and talking. One real cool thing about today's visit was that she gave me ultra-cool wrap around disposable UV shades to wear during the cleaning. I finally got to have my teeth cleaned without going blind simultaneously!

I am going to stop writing now so that you can get straight to the picture, which is my pride and joy of this entry.

No caption required. I nearly shit my pants when I saw this.

Music of the Moment: "I've Known No War" by The Who