Czech Me Out

My whirlwind tour of Prague with a very beautiful woman was a complete and utter success! I absolutely loved the city and the company -- it was my best vacation ever, hands down. After a horrible start at the Houston airport (my flight to Frankfurt was canceled and I was re-routed through Chicago, which stole 5 precious hours from an already-too-short weekend), I finally disembarked in Praha and found my sweetheart waiting for me. There's nothing like the slendor of seeing the love of your life for the first time in 9 weeks; the wait was worth every second. Prague has it all: European public transportation efficiency, medeival beauty, liberalism (a.k.a. Bush hating), torture museums, castles, professional ice hockey, and snow! We walked all over this marvelous city, ate lots of good food and downed half liters of beer at a time (for $1). We attended an ice hockey game between Sparta (of Prague) and Plzen (of Pilsner beer fame) and sat 7 rows from the players' bench. Oh yeah, for a mere $6. We saw the ballet Giselle at the National Theater. Oh yeah, for $1 apiece. We toured a museum of medeival torture instruments and were too intrigued to leave, despite feelings of nausea. Thank God we are not living in the 1500s: back then you were either impaled from anus to mouth (if you were "too quarrelsome") or forced to sit on a gigantic wooden pyramid that penetrates your ass for hours. That's illegal just about everywhere but Texas! We went to a live jazz club and I got trashed -- it was awesome! The saxophonist arrived 45 minutes late and was super hammered. He had the worst European B.O. ever but his playing was super and I enjoyed seeing his bare feet hang out of the gaping holes in his shoes. I left Prague during a snowstorm and arrived back in Houston a gazillion hours later. I want to go back immediately. I'm counting down the days until December 28, when I can again be happy in the arms of my darling while eating cheese steaks with the Whiz.

Today must be "Love the Bush Administration for a Day" day. The evil man who is John Ashcroft quit, claiming our mission to make America safe from terrorism has been accomplished. I'm worried for 2 reasons: (1) we've heard Mission Accomplished before and look what happened; (2) Why are we invading Iraq again if we are safe from terrorism? Oh well, at least that bastard is out. I'm ashamed to attend the same university as his son, but what can you do.

I'm going to eat Czech potato chips now and do make-up work. G'night.

Music of the Moment: "I'd Do Anything" by Simple Plan